In this world where being occupied is the biggest and most treasured state of being it is easy to forget about yourself and about how much you love yourself. You’re occupied from the age of say 3 years or 4 years.. Oh now the age is even lower, considering toddlers getting smarter with the accessibility of gadgets. So from a very young age we fall into a pattern of things and there are things to be done, for our own selves or others. Learn how to talk, how to walk, then start school, wake up on time, eat well, sleep on time, show respect, basically you are not in that infant stage anymore where you can just lie down and look at the ceiling fan the entire day and cry whenever you are hungry. You basically need to start ‘adulting/growing up’. Not that there is any negativity to it. It’s a situation. So what’s ‘me time’?
I got this suggestion after 23years of missing out on the infant ceiling-fan-cry-for-food days. ‘Just go to a restaurant and order food for yourself and enjoy.’ Now I’m not going to tell you who suggested, but it sounded really maniac to me to be alone in a restaurant, that’s not my idea of a me-time is what I was thinking. I really thought what a daunting idea, ‘what if someone I know showed up?’, ‘what would they say?’, ‘they would think I’m weird.’, ‘They would think I’m so, so weird.’.
I was already on my way to this beautiful place called Yogisthaan, after 2 months of getting suggested. All those thoughts were blaring in my head. I thought my mom would call me up and go ‘Hey, is everything okay?’, ‘Is there anything going on ?’ And worry her daughter is going crazy.
In spite of every thought of resistance I was there, laughing at my nerves because I always love a challenge too, Dear Suggester! Challenges change something in me that can never go back to the old me, hence I was sitting there with a book and a cup of coffee. Highly uncomfortable and conscious for the first 15 min I was just looking at every other person in the restaurant. My thoughts- ‘Why did this place have to be crowded today?’, ‘Let me check if I know anyone.’
My coffee arrives, I’ve read 20 pages of this book which is a lot by my reading-speed-standards and I’m getting comfortable. I’ve stopped looking around, I’m totally engrossed and I’ve started to sit with with my complete bottom on the seat. Yeah, I was literally on the edge of my seat all this while.
Note: This might sound unusually exaggerated for some people who have already got this, but this experience was much more for me than the way I write it. It means much to me, a piece of my experience, could be of much inspiration to some.
So! I was already enjoying as time flew and I was done with my coffee, not wanting to go anywhere. If not for my brother’s call to come home I would have stayed there late till dinner.
Now that I’ve already finished with 45 minutes of sitting all by myself, I think “What’s the big deal?”, “My own thoughts can make me miss so many good experiences.”, “I don’t know so much more than I think I don’t know.”, “I just realize that people are so important in your lives, they make your life more valuable, even though you might not always need someone.”. “I owe one big hug to my Suggester.” Oh my gosh! so many thoughts were on my mind but I was so relaxed at the same time. A new experience indeed. Self love is so important, you don’t have to be an infant to enjoy. You can be all accepting of a situation and still love yourself and do something special for yourself everyday. It goes a long way in changing your behavior towards other people around you. Once you’ve accepted your discomfort you accept others as they are too.
Okay before the philosophy gets too much, let me suggest you to head to a restaurant alone or do some thing alone or do anything that sounds revolting (- speaking to a big crowd, talking to a stranger, making a presentation at your office,….) and do share your experience with others.
” I’m continually trying to make choices that put me against my own comfort zone. As long as you’re uncomfortable, it means you’re growing.” Ashton Kutcher